What If I Was Single….
By CJ Mills on Jul 17, 2008 in life, random
Tonight I was able to sit out on the deck as my wonderful wife put both Asher and Jadyn to bed. I was in a pretty crappy mood today, and she knew it, so it was probably best that I get some time alone to realize how good I have it.
While doing that, I tried to think what my life would be like without Andrea and the kids. What would my life look like if I was single. My best friend is a single, successful guy, and sometimes I envy the freedom he has. I know he would say the exact same about the comfort that I have, but nonetheless, here is what I thought my life would look like:
1) I would be rich. Not “house-in-the-Hamptons” rich, but “go-out-and-buy-whatever-big-screen-TV-I-want-because-I-can” rich. Granted, one could argue that I would not be in the same position I am at a great company without having a wife to support and a child on the way like I did out of college. Don’t get me wrong, my drive to support my family is huge, but I’m a pretty driven competitive guy away from that, so I do think I’d be doing OK financially.
2) I would have a lot more friends. Having no one to come home to would be boring. I like being around people, so I’m pretty sure I would spend a lot of my time with friends.
3) I would be addicted to work. Some might argue that is already the case based on my working vacations at Disney and closing deals while our insurance company was on the other line, waiting to negotiate Asher’s transport to Charleston (yes, that really did happen). I love my job and could see myself using it as a “friend” when I had no one else to spend time with.
Sounds pretty nice, huh? Well, maybe not the addicted to work thing, but that actually sounds pretty nice to me in a weird way. Now, before you accuse me of wishing I was single, take a look at what I realized I had because I’m married:
1) I am rich. Not “house-in-the-Hamptons” rich, but “living-a-rich-life-with-a-great-family” rich. My wife cooks wonderful dinners where we make it a point to all sit down, without the TV on, and talk about our day. We sit together and watch whatever Disney movie Jadyn wants to on our “whatever-not-big-screen-we-could-afford-at-the-time-we-first-got-married” TV together. We have a house over our heads and beds to sleep in at night - we are rich.
2) I have a best friend. Sure, I’d have a lot of friends if I was single because I’d have more time to hang with them, but I wouldn’t have a BEST friend like I have in my wife. Andrea and I have known each other longer than any other of my closest friends - even Andy. I wouldn’t trade that for anything.
3) I still am addicted to work, but not just my day job, but also my nights and weekends job. I love coming home and being a dad and husband. I love hearing my daughter scream, “Daddy’s home!” every time I walk through the door in the evenings. I love holding Asher while catching up on PTI. I love family dinners and rushing out to the backyard to play afterward. Having all that at home makes working so hard during the day enjoyable.
I’ll take being married any day.
Tom Humes | Jul 17, 2008 | Reply
Nice Site layout for your blog. I am looking forward to reading more from you.
Tom Humes
ckroboth | Jul 17, 2008 | Reply
Yeah!! For contentment…
I was telling a good friend of mine how I have finally come to grasp with this very thing. I am content with live with the life I have and what ever God provides….
Thanks for the reminder CJ.
ckroboth’s last blog post…Veil of Innocence…
Joshua | Jul 17, 2008 | Reply
Good post. It’s great to see you have your priorities in line. And, that you would never trade Andrea for Andy. (I think a lot of your friends just breathed a sign of relief on that one point.)
Adam | Jul 17, 2008 | Reply
CJ. I agree with you on this post. Being married and having a family.. is just.. I dunno you can’t even put a price tag on it. It makes me want to be a person.. a better husband.. a better father.
Adam’s last blog post…
Nancy Heffelfinger | Jul 17, 2008 | Reply
CJ,
It’s wonderful to read your heart in words….you have a wonderful gift…the wisdom to understand the many ways that God has blessed you.
I pray for you and I love you,
Nancy
Andy Borgmann | Jul 17, 2008 | Reply
See, the question isn’t whether you will trade Andrea for me, but rather when will Andrea trade you for me
Ahh…..you knew I just had to throw that in there.
You wouldn’t be that much more rich. Most of your expenses are still relatively fixed. Now having a kid will make things a tad more expensive, but as far as just the difference between single and married, I think my life would be “wealthier” with a spouse.
Plus, you and I both know Andrea saves you like a billion dollars a year, which is really a job and an income source in and of itself (you guys spend about the same amount on groceries as I do which is freaking impressive - and sad on my part)
And I do envy your comfort. But now I got to go off play some tennis.
See you in a week.
Andy Borgmann’s last blog post…I Told You It Was Coming: The Government Is Coming After Your Health
Marvin | Jul 17, 2008 | Reply
I’m so lonely.
ha!
CJ Mills | Jul 17, 2008 | Reply
@Tom » Thanks for stopping by.
@ckroboth » Finding contentment is a hard thing to do in a world that urges us to want want want.
@Joshua » as I said before, you crack me up man!
@Adam » I had a feeling you’d be right with me on this post.
@Nancy » I’m slowly learning to use this “gift” more
@Andy » Keep dreaming bro.
@Marvin » Maybe you and Andy could be friends?
Alyson Wolf | Jul 18, 2008 | Reply
When Jonathan and I moved from Chicago to Roanoke, we lived apart for five months (after being married five year). He had to come here and start work and I had to stay in Chicago and show the house. I got to watch the shows I wanted to watch, eat what I wanted for meals when I wanted, sleep in the middle of the bed, and go out when I wanted.
It was nice for a couple days, but then I started missing tripping over his shoes that he’d forget to put away, closing the cabnet door that he left open, and discussing our days together. I missed him sitting on the couch watching tv with me, or deciding what to do with our weekend.
It was the longest five months of my life. I told myself that I would never take him for granite again (or complain about him leaving his shoes out). Sometimes I forget and get mad about something silly and have to remind myself of that time. Being married and sharing life with someone is something very special.
Nick | Jul 18, 2008 | Reply
I’m feeling you bro, all the way. Here’s to being content and never forgetting the blessings we have that we take for granted! Cheers!
Nick’s last blog post…No office, no problem
CJ Mills | Jul 18, 2008 | Reply
@Alyson » I completely understand why you would enjoy some time away from Jonathan…haha
@Nick » If only I could figure out a way to be content all the time…